What are the main pregnancy challenges for dads?

When my partner and I found out we were expecting, I had a mix of excitement and nerves. Like many soon-to-be dads, I knew that my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t fully anticipate. As the pregnancy went on, I quickly realised that there were a lot of things I hadn’t considered about what it would be like to support my partner through this experience. Here’s a personal look at some of the challenges I faced during my partner’s pregnancy — and how I worked through them.

1. Emotional Rollercoaster

I thought I had a good handle on things, but I was constantly dealing with emotional ups and downs. One moment, I was buzzing about the baby’s arrival. The next, I’d find myself anxious about the unknowns. I worried about the health of the baby and how my partner was doing. I also felt a sense of responsibility that was pretty overwhelming, especially as the pregnancy progressed. I wasn't sure how to prepare to become a dad and whether I'd be good at it. The anticipation was a real rollercoaster sometimes.

It wasn’t always easy to talk about it either because sometimes, I felt like I was supposed to be the “strong” one. But I learned quickly that it’s okay to feel uncertain — and it was really helpful to open up to my partner about my concerns.

Actionable tip: Check in with your partner regularly about how you're both feeling. You're in this together, and you're likely to have a similar mix of nerves and excitement.

2. Adjusting to Physical Changes

Pregnancy is hard work. Watching my partner’s body go through changes was amazing but also difficult for both of us. As her body adapted, she needed more physical support — whether it was helping her with tasks she usually didn't think twice about doing, or simply being there when she needed a break. And, I admit, I felt guilty at times. It seemed like everything was focused on her health and comfort, and I struggled with the balance of wanting to help but also feeling exhausted from juggling my own health, work, life, as well as trying to be an emotional support system at home.

Actionable tip: It's important to celebrate the incredible changes her body is going through, but it's also ok to recognise the frustrations you both have.

3. Navigating Intimacy

The topic of intimacy came up a lot in our conversations — and not always in the most comfortable way. Pregnancy can have a big impact on your sex life. For me, it was a mix of feeling unsure about how to navigate my partner’s changing body and wondering how to stay connected in other ways. There were times when intimacy wasn’t the same, and that’s something a lot of dads don’t always talk about. I had to adjust to a new kind of closeness — one that didn’t necessarily revolve around physical intimacy.

Actionable tip: Create special moments for her that aren't about being physically intimate. Gift her with flowers, make her her favourite meal, or run her a bath with her favourite candles. Doing nice things for her can help boost feelings of closeness without it needing to lead to something else.

4. Feeling a Little Left Out

It’s tough not being able to experience the pregnancy firsthand. Sure, I was there for every doctor’s appointment, but there’s a level of bonding that happens with the mum and baby before the dad can really feel a part of it. My partner had all these little moments — feeling the baby kick, talking to the baby in her belly — that I just couldn’t experience in the same way. I had to remind myself that my role would come later, but honestly, that didn’t stop me from feeling a little disconnected at times.

Actionable tip: When you're feeling disconnected, tell yourself some of the firsts you'll get to experience once they arrive.

5. The Financial Pressure

We all know that kids are expensive, and the financial aspect of preparing for a baby is no joke. All the baby gear and figuring out how much time I could take off work, the financial pressure was real. I remember stressing about how much we would need to budget for, how to prepare for the future, and whether we were doing enough to set ourselves up for success. At times, it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders — but we talked about it openly, which helped a lot.

Actionable tip: Figure out your post-baby budget. Include all of your usual expenses (rent/mortgage, car, utilities, etc.) as well as the new items that come with the new addition to your family (diapers, formula, childcare, clothing etc.).

6. The Fear of the Unknown

Even though I knew parenthood was coming, there was so much I didn’t know about what to expect — especially during labor and delivery. I was worried about being a good partner and being there for my partner when she needed me most. What if I didn’t know what to do? What if I messed up? The fear of the unknown about birth, the baby, and how everything would unfold was pretty overwhelming at times. But I realised that the best thing I could do was be present and focus on supporting her emotionally — even if I didn’t have all the answers.

Actionable tip: Prepare what you can to help you feel more in the know. Go to the baby classes. Read the books. Listen to the podcasts.

7. The Relationship Dynamics Shift

Pregnancy affects relationships in all sorts of ways. Between all the changes in my partner’s body, our social life slowing down, and the mounting responsibilities, I sometimes felt like we were losing the connection we had had before. It wasn’t intentional — we were both just adjusting to a new reality. But it was tough. I had to consciously work to ensure we kept our communication open and prioritised time for each other, even during the pregnancy chaos.

Actionable tip: Keep up with date nights.

8. Pressure from External Expectations

There was also the pressure I felt from external sources — from friends, family, and even society. People expected me to have it all together, to know exactly what to do, and to be the perfect dad even before the baby arrived. It was a lot to live up to. But over time, I realised that there’s no such thing as perfect. The best thing I could do was to show up, be present, and support my partner the best I could.

Actionable tips: Chat to other new dads. They get it. Hint hint, you can join our free community New Dad Life and get help and support from other dads.

9. The Excitement of the Future

Amidst all the challenges, there was a real sense of excitement for what was to come. We were about to become parents. And although there were tough moments, knowing that our lives were about to change for the better kept me going. The thought of meeting our baby and starting this new chapter together made all the struggles worth it.

Looking back on the journey, I see how much I learned along the way before my son even arrived. Pregnancy isn’t just a time for the mum to experience change — it’s a shared journey. It’s filled with moments of stress, uncertainty, and vulnerability, but it’s also a time to grow as a partner and as a father. It’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s okay to lean on each other. Because at the end of the day, it’s about working together to create something beautiful: a family.